I'm a huge Indiana Jones fan. I remember being a little kid and watching the movies with my dad. They're classics. I think my favorite movie scene ever is when, in Temple of Doom, Indie is facing off with this huge Arab man in black in the village center. The man is waving around this enormous scimitar, and everyone thinks "Oh no! Now Indie's in trouble!" and then, dead pan, Indie shoots the guy. Love it.
So needless to say, I was desperately excited when I heard they were shooting the fourth film. I waited and waited and went running to see it. And was so disappointed that I wasn't sure whether to throw my popcorn at the screen or cry. Honestly, what are Aliens doing in and Indiana Jones movie?? I know that Speilburg was involved in the originals, but wow, he absolutley ruined this one. I get the story line. I understood where they were going with it. It just wasn't the story line for this character. If you're a Southpark fan, you might have seen a recent episode about the destruction of this film. I agree with those guys 100%. There was so much potential for the film and they just let the fans down, big time.
You're probably wondering by now - if you were smart enough not to have seen the film yet - what happened that made this film so bad. Here's the general plot. We first find indie in the middle of the Nevada desert, kidnapped by a group of Russians posing as American soldiers. He is forced to find a crate that contains a special box, which turns out to be a coffin. He ends up escaping by running off in the dark and ends up in a nuclear test site. He escapes again and makes his way back to university. Later, Indie is contacted by this young guy on behalf of an old friend, Professor Oxley. Ox has apparently found the crystal skull and the lost city of gold in the Amazon. However, Ox has gone missing and Indie decides to go find him. Indie and his new young friend Mutt are chased through town by the Russians, escaping them for now but again being caught after they make it to the Amazon. The story takes a whacky twist from here. Apparently the lost city of gold was created by an alien race (yup, outer space aliens) and their skeletons are made of some sort of power weilding crystal. To sum up this really bad plot, the skull needs to be returned to it's owner, which it is, causing the destruction of the city, Indie and friends escape and well, it all ends in a wedding. If you're really a fan, do yourself a favour, pretend that they never made the film and continue your worship of the original hero, while his status was still untarnished.
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This is not the film for you if you can't stand stupid comedy. However, if you find that on occasion that's exactly what you want to watch and waste away a couple of hours, then, my friend, this is the film for you. Purely rediculous-pot-head-sex-fanta sy-red-neck hilarity. It's not a film that I could watch a hundred times over, but it's pretty good for a lazy night on the sofa.
Without giving too much of the plot away (not that there would really be a lot to give away), you'll follow the boys from a mistaken incident on an international flight where they're mistaken for terrorists and sent to the notorious Guantanamo Bay. Harrassed by the sterotypically racist and unintellegent government agent, and threatened by the unpalatable cock-meat sandwich, the boys break free and are on the run. We meet some characters from the original film (Neal Patrick Harris, for one) and of course fall into a mixed bag of funny but unfortunate circumstances. But at the end of the day, they head off into the sunset and we're all teary eyed with the happily ever after ending.
The film is what it is. It's not about amazing scripts or unforgettable performances. It's about having a laugh, and laugh I did. And if you're into this type of film, I can guarantee that you will too.
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Lucky thing you are! You get to read my very own opinions on everything. Movies, music, politics, celebrities and who knows what else'll come up. Bet you can't wait! But you will. And I promise to deliver soon. Make sure you check back.
Cheers!
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Nichole Rutledge
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